I wrote this letter for a friend of mine who is struggling right now. Since it’s not possible for me to send it, I am posting it here instead.
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Dear Friend,
You are loved. Have I told you that lately? I don’t think I have. I’m sorry.
I’m also sorry for all the times you’ve had to feel alone, like there wasn’t a place for you anymore or that no one cared. Life gets busy and hard and we misunderstand each other and forget to listen, and shut people out without thinking. We make a lot of mistakes. I’m sorry you had to bear the weight of so many of them.
I’m sorry, too, that we weren’t there to help you find your footing or see when and where you needed us most. I hope you can forgive us.
Did you know that you are beautiful? I don’t just mean that in the careless way most people do when they say it to someone. You ARE beautiful – in a way you can’t help – or hide. You are vibrant and lively. Your eyes and your smile engage people; you make them feel loved and cared about. That alone sets you apart.
But you’re also funny. And smart. And talented. You think deeply about things and you love fiercely. Injustice stirs indignation in your heart and you don’t just stand passively by, waiting for someone else to do something; you act. You care for the ones who are forgotten and left out. You add something to the world that no one else ever could. You are….you. No one else. And that is wonderful.
You’re in a lot of pain right now and that knowledge twists my heart into a hundred knots. I wish I could understand and help you. For now, I just want you to know: There’s nothing you need to make up for. Nothing. There are no stories—no feelings—in your heart so dark that they are better handled by hiding or isolating yourself instead of sharing. There is no problem too big or too irreparable for you to cry alone about, or shoulder by yourself…. Or be ashamed of.
You’re treasured and loved by the One who made the earth with its limitless mountains and its depthless seas. How could He create every species of animal, insect, tree, plant….all the continents and oceans; cities and weather: storms, lightning, rainbows….and not be even slightly concerned about you? The fact is, He cares more about you—JUST you—than about anything else in that list.
You matter.
Deeply.
Before you were born, God knew you. He knew what color your eyes would be and when you would speak your first word. He knew your talents, the sound of your voice, and the way your mind would work. He lovingly designed each of these things, gave them to you, and said that they were good.
You are beautiful to Him.
He knew you would grow up and face difficulty and pain and confusion, but He also promised that He wouldn’t leave you alone in the middle of it.
When was the last time you felt real joy–the kind that lasts? Jesus is full of compassion and it breaks His heart to see you hurting and confused. Cry out to Him. Tell Him exactly what you’re thinking and feeling right now, even if it’s sometimes hard to know where to start. He will help you.
When He wrote You that long, long love letter, remember what he said? He said He was Your Father. And He asked you if a loving father would ever give his kids a stone if they were hungry and asked Him for bread.
Do you know what He meant when He said that? He was saying that if we ask Him for a good thing—like His Spirit, to live in us and help us—why would He refuse to give it to us? He promised He would never withhold any good thing from His children, if we are are living in obedience.
When we yield to His Spirit in us, the darkness is slowly eaten away by the light. It’s not an easy process, surrendering to the light—in fact, it can be quite painful at times—but it is a necessary process, and there is SO much joy on the other side of it.
Are you willing to fight to get there?
You won’t be alone. Please, never believe the lie that you are. There are SO many people around you who would do anything in the world to make sure you are happy and safe. But you have to let them in so they know how. I know it’s not very easy to open up at first, but if you are willing to take that first difficult step, I think you will be amazed at the understanding and love you find.
Remember: God knows what He’s doing—He has a specific purpose for you and for your life—and He WILL see you through to the end. He is real and He listens. Talk to Him and see.
Finally: Forgive, forgive, forgive, forgive….and then, with His help, move forward.
Change is coming.
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has gone; the new has come.” (II Corinthians 5:17)
You are loved.
With all my heart,
Jenn
April 27th, 2011 at 9:08 am
Very special words. Thanks for sharing. I hope you notify the person you wrote this for about how you feel and let them in on the secret about how great they are.
God bless,
Mark.